tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-327618792011-12-26T10:23:09.265ZSomewhere in South London in the Summer of 2006 the I Don't Like Cricket Collective was formed. Their sole purpose: to go underground and win the Ashes for England. Now the IDLCC is in deep cover behind enemy lines preparing the ground for an historic victory. Join the collective: you have nothing to lose but your wicket.weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.comBlogger2301100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-42554074046222629462009-01-28T14:05:00.000Z2009-01-28T14:07:09.964Z

The I Don't Like Cricket Collective are back.Along with their playing wing, the Newquay Browns, the IDLCC have returned for the next Ashes Series and can now be found at www.idontlikecricket.wordpress.comHope to hear from you soon.The Collective.

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-52751057707460875192007-03-08T16:31:00.000Z2007-03-08T16:39:00.983Z

The Grimsby Town Appreciation Society is going to post on this site everyday until they get going....For fans of underdogs the world over this one is a classic. And when England need six runs off the final ball of the innings against the Aussies (or Canada...) do not fear! There is always the chance of some helpful wind assistance...

Victoria Millsnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-15743930025392796602007-03-05T17:06:00.000Z2007-03-05T17:13:52.468Z

I thought this was supposed to be a gentle warm-up-cum-work-out for us?!Nice that Dwayne Leverock a, err, fine figure of a cricketer, has worked us out... (Dwayne Leverock - no minnows in sight...)

Victoria Millsnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-31002179055815413832007-02-28T19:40:00.000Z2007-02-28T19:45:23.116Z

England may have rejected its one day record wicket-taker (235 in 159 one-day internationals) but Yorkshire has seen sense and invited one of its favourite sons back to Captain the county side. Hurrah!

Victoria Millsnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-26853124238780314022007-02-22T14:12:00.000Z2007-02-22T14:33:02.444Z

Sports governing bodies are the traditional target of ridicule for fans and the ECB and ICC are no different in this respect than the bonkers FA (and FIFA and UEFA), or incompetant Amateur Swimming Association.While my particular bugbear with the ICC is their ridiculous ban on bringing alcohol into grounds (a move surely designed solely to raise even more revenue to ground owners - on top of the

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-65006573628860793822007-02-20T23:07:00.000Z2007-02-20T23:25:42.082Z

...Jaffa cakes are biscuits. And England is a cricket team.So what can make Jaffa cakes the "perfect fit" with the England team and allows them to be the Official Energy Food of the team during the World Cup?Are they telling us something about the masculinity and machismo of this fine group of men? Or maybe its a reference to Harmison's bowling?Who knows but I'm going to have to have a cup of tea

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-86074385277993935462007-02-20T20:44:00.000Z2007-02-20T21:18:47.363Z

Everyone knows that the pace of life in the Caribbean is sedate in comparison to the hurly-burly on our crowded little outpost off the French coast. I had to laugh then when reading that the Windies still haven't finished some of the grounds for a World Cup which starts in less than a month.And do they care? Do they f*ck. With typical nonchalance former Windies skipper Richie Richardson has

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-78579241773827136632007-02-20T13:35:00.000Z2007-02-20T14:01:56.567Z

Like a sickly child who's had hands layed on them by a dodgy, shouty Texan preacher, this blog has come back to good health and is now dancing the flamenco once more.I know that I should stretch the agenda beyond the Australians, their impending failure in the World Cup and a glorification in their recent failure against two mediocre one day teams. But just for one moment of nostalgia I'm going

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1171965439247746122007-02-20T09:55:00.000Z2007-02-20T09:57:19.250Z

A number of you have expressed an interest below in contributing to this blog. I may regret doing this but if you want to contact me to find out about joining the Collective you can do so at steven_coventry@hotmail.com

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1171965328282624002007-02-20T09:44:00.000Z2007-02-20T10:00:19.356Z

Despite Matty Hayden making the highest one-day score by an Australian, his team have lost yet another one-day game. This of course begs the question when on earth are Australia going to win another game? Of course all this is relative and no doubt they will be strong contenders for the World Cup. However, my favourites for the tournament are the West Indies, who at17-2 on Betfair look VERY good

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1171616662084320322007-02-16T08:59:00.000Z2007-02-16T09:04:22.103Z

Australia today crashed to their fourth defeat in five games as New Zealand became the first team to beat them by 10 wickets in one-day internationals. Imagine my delight then at receiving an invitation to attend the following event:Oh and Brett Lee is rated 50-50 for the World cup as well.

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1171555378818795222007-02-15T15:58:00.000Z2007-02-15T17:23:49.663Z

Despite the fact that we haven't been posting we are all still alive.Personally, I ran out of steam a little because of a combination of work and disillusionment with the performance of the team.However with the World Cup nearly upon us and the Summer not far round the corner I am sure that this blog will start to get more active.In the meantime if you want to join the Collective and help to

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1169594206985539992007-01-23T23:12:00.000Z2007-01-23T23:16:47.020Z

...and this is why:A J Strauss lbw b J E C Franklin 19M B Loye c S P Fleming b J E C Franklin 8I R Bell c S P Fleming b J E C Franklin 2E C Joyce c M R Gillespie b D L Vettori 47P D Collingwood lbw b D L Vettori 10A Flintoff c B B McCullum b D L Vettori 9P A Nixon c B B McCullum b J D P Oram 6J W M Dalrymple c S P Fleming b D L Vettori 0J Lewis c S P Fleming b S E Bond 5M S Panesar c N J Astle b

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1168428381749439702007-01-10T11:21:00.000Z2007-01-10T11:26:21.900Z

In case you haven't seen this, Brett Lee has (genuinely) recorded a song with legendary Indian singer Asha Bhosle which is Number 4 in the Indian pop charts....

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1168337317734280492007-01-09T09:45:00.000Z2007-01-09T10:08:37.756Z

Recent events have confused me.When Shane Warne continued to take wickets and score fifties right up until his retirement I remained convinced that at the age of 28 I still had a future in international cricket. "After all," I pondered to myself while working away at my desk, "I can bowl a googly and a leg break... and I've got an awesome flipper - the one that goes straight on". If I could play

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1168004664387908982007-01-05T13:35:00.000Z2007-01-05T13:44:24.426Z

... let us just be entirely positive for a moment, and pay tribute to the Aussies. This team may not have quite had the stamp of greatness of previous teams under Messrs Taylor and Waugh, but it actually tried harder. And that, combined with the fact that it was still very, very good, added up to a consistently brilliant performance. Clark, Hussey, and Ponting were magnificent, and Symonds

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1167948898467842752007-01-04T22:07:00.000Z2007-01-04T22:14:58.493Z

Paul Collingwood is a nuggety cricketer who scored a decent double century on a dead pitch in the 2nd test but is patently not Test class. What possessed him therefore to sledge the greatest bowler of all time and inspire him to hit a match winning 70 odd is beyond me. Shane Warne's verbal reposte to Collingwood was brilliant and basically a pointer to why England lost this series pretty much

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1167903405113184332007-01-04T09:26:00.000Z2007-01-04T09:36:45.133Z

Below is an account of the ancient and cheery old British form of execution - for people who had been really, really bad - known as hanging, drawing and quartering:The full sentence passed upon those convicted of High Treason up to 1870was as follows : “That you be drawn on a hurdle to the place of execution whereyou shall be hanged by the neck and being alive cut down, your privy membersshall be

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1167818756689118522007-01-03T09:54:00.000Z2007-01-03T10:05:56.730Z

I've been checking out some of the stats for the blog this morning and these have confirmed what i have suspected for a long time: the majority of people who come across this site for the first time (perhaps an unfortunate turn of phrase given the context) do so because they have entered the terms "cricket" and "wag" into a search engine. In short, most of our first time hits come from people

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1167817527999876172007-01-03T09:29:00.000Z2007-01-03T09:52:30.413Z

Over Christmas the Collective dispersed to various parts of the country and this, coupled with general laziness, has led to a severe lack of activity on this site. (Although I notice that people have still been having a pop at Mad Dog in the comments section)Anyway we (or at least I) have returned and normal service will be resumed - if only for for the last few days of the Test series and

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1166699886820362562006-12-21T11:16:00.000Z2006-12-21T11:28:06.436Z

In the spirit of the IDLCC's revised mission statement - to celebrate good cricket wherever we find it - I thought I should write a slightly more generous than usual post about the soon to be retired Shane Warne. It is time we acknowledged that he is more than a poster boy for hair replacement treatments and fat people.It’s stating the bleeding obvious to say that Warne is one of the greatest

Gavinaldohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12001777455492168524noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1166552238830812682006-12-19T17:52:00.000Z2006-12-19T18:24:02.200Z

In my very fed-up state of affairs I was inspired to blog by Ricky Ponting going on with himself earlier today. This helpfully made me recall one of the primary motivations behind this blog. The urge to be rude about Aussies.You think this nonsense is going to keep us down do you Ricky? Think it's going to ensure you get your whitewash and people might manage to forget that YOU WERE THE FIRST

Victoria Millsnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1166536362746741852006-12-19T13:27:00.000Z2006-12-19T14:28:49.590Z

I like Geoff Boycott. I think he talks a lot of sense, unlike a number of the more recently retired ex-pros who tend to be up-the-arses of the current players. As I have said to KT below, Boycott is a bit like Simon Cowell; even though you might not like him you know he's right. However, I know that he divides opinion (to say the least).So what do other people think, is he a woman-beating

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1166450335462286462006-12-18T13:44:00.000Z2006-12-18T13:58:55.506Z

I notice on the comments to an earlier post that one reader has speculated that the, "bald tosser with a silly beard next to McGrath" in the picture of the Aussies celebrating their Ashes triumph, is in fact Mad Dog (a regular agitator on this site).I can exclusively reveal, with the photo evidence, below that it is not the aforementioned Mad Dog, but rather one half of Britain's recently first

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1166435539937790242006-12-18T09:20:00.000Z2006-12-18T10:29:36.736Z

So after the euphoria of 2005, normal service has been resumed and the Aussies have regained 'their' trophy.I have to say that unlike others on the site I was always skeptical about our chances. Instead with McGrath, Warne and much of the Aussie top-order coming to the end of their careersI had hoped that by the time of the next series, our young team would be in a position to regain the Ashes on

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1166429456710129492006-12-18T08:10:00.000Z2006-12-18T08:45:08.810Z

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1166176511416034282006-12-15T09:52:00.000Z2006-12-15T09:55:11.436Z

Lines on the cricketing death of a kingSo, farewell then, Ashley Giles,You were an England player,And the very King of Spain.How fickle fans we are.Have we forgotten how we usedTo cheer you as a hero,Those spells holding one end tight,The useful gully fielding,And those twentysomethings at number eight,So utterly devoid of character,Yet occasionally so crucial?Now you’ve been usurpedBy someone

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1166097540354519922006-12-14T11:40:00.000Z2006-12-14T14:16:28.063Z

This is real! This is actually happening!So said the unnecessarily amazed Aussie commentator as England started their first innings this morning... after we had bowled out the convicts for 244! Oh yes, this is actually happening!Okay so we lost two early wickets (but from the sound of things Bell got a pretty good ball) but the Ashes start here.I'm not a fan of Western Standard Time so I have no

Victoria Millsnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1166096854191022752006-12-14T11:35:00.000Z2006-12-14T14:31:12.936Z

The strangest thing happened this morning. I woke up to see Monty Panesar taking five wickets and Steve Harmison in the middle of a fast, hostile and (amazingly) accurate spell of bowling, having clearly now benefited from having some overs under his belt.If I hadn't of known better I could have sworn that this is what was supposed to happened at the start of the series. NOT when we were already

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1166020054567600972006-12-13T14:21:00.000Z2006-12-13T14:27:34.680Z

1) We have a new member of the Collective joining us tomorrow. Keep your eye out for our daily postings from the boundary rope with our new friend. All to be revealed tomorrow.2) Monty is playing. Is it going to be enough?3) Some of the Collective will be watching the third day in the Sports Cafe on the Haymarket in London. Join us.

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1166008266155431442006-12-13T11:01:00.002Z2006-12-13T11:11:06.156Z

I've just noticed that the remaining Tests now all start at 02.30 GMT instead of midnight as previously. I can't, however, work out if this is a good thing or not. On the one hand it means that staying up for the start of a day's play is going to be harder, but that's balanced by the fact that you will get see more of the play when getting up to go to work in the morning. Thus one can watch

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165866685767684492006-12-11T19:42:00.000Z2006-12-11T19:51:25.790Z

As other members of the Collective will testify, football fan and little known musician Elton John was a hero of mine long before Freddie thrust him to global fame with his iPod sessions at the end of each day in that amazing series.So it was with optimism that I read the team had gone to see the Rocket Man after their failure in Adelaide.If they really are Made in England, Elton's Sad Songs will

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165835660148550202006-12-11T11:01:00.000Z2006-12-11T11:14:20.173Z

I have found it hard to rationalise my intense dislike of Australian cricketers. Could it be that our shared colonial past makes me jealous of their relative success; a jealousy felt by the siblings of the prodigal son? Or could it be that I suffer from underdog syndrome? Or is just plain prejudice.But at last I have the answer. And provided by an Australian, no less. The real reason is that

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165530510988884142006-12-07T22:01:00.000Z2006-12-07T22:28:31.006Z

You've got to love the great British media and assembled voices of cricket punditry. We've already had the not-playing-Monty-backlash and now some of the papers are having a Monty backlash-backlash, arguing that no one player would have made a difference to the results of the previous Tests.However as far as I'm concerned this misses the point. No one can seriously think that Monty would have

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165400564057570052006-12-06T10:10:00.000Z2006-12-06T10:22:44.076Z

Apologies for my silence yesterday. I was in Brussels, a cricket-free zone. Just as well.I received the news in the form of a text message from the Napoleon of our Collective. I was sitting with some MPs. I said, it looks like we lost the Test! They asked, what does the text message say? I said I couldn't read it out, but reading between the lines, it could only mean one thing.I've included

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165339721065800342006-12-05T17:03:00.000Z2006-12-05T17:28:41.086Z

What a fickle lot we are. 18 months ago Duncan Fletcher was being feted as Cricket's answer to Jose Mourinho, today he's more Sven-Goran Ericsson and the calls for him to go are getting louder all the time.Some may argue that this is not the time for kneejerk reactions, but there is no doubt in my mind that he has a case to answer.Clearly team selection has been a massive issue. The Monty vs

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165332044294768072006-12-05T15:13:00.000Z2006-12-05T15:20:44.336Z

Collective ResponsibilityWe are the I Don't Like Cricket Collective.You will be familiar with our manifesto. You will be familiar with our identities.You will know our differing personalities. Perhaps the only two things that tie us together our shared loves of cricket and cheese.But what we have is a collective identity and will; a collective desire for England to win the Ashes; a collective

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165312872193121902006-12-05T09:57:00.000Z2006-12-05T10:01:12.220Z

The Collective are preparing a statement on behalf of the nation that will be published at 2pm GMT. Check back for more info.In the meantime, to help us deal with this terrible day together, it would be nice if everyone who checked in could write a little comment telling us how they feel.Thank you.

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165303260026118452006-12-05T07:09:00.000Z2006-12-05T07:21:00.046Z

Having tempted fate last night I am inclined to metaphorically throw myself on my sword and take full responsibility as Australia move seamlessly towards winning the game and almost inevitably the series.However on reflection England have been so quick to run up the white flag that I think it would be unfair for me to have to cop the stick for what has been a truly awful last day capitulation. As

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165277268726592482006-12-05T00:02:00.000Z2006-12-05T01:45:40.160Z

Well Cov may have lost his committment to the Collective and to the Series, but I am still here blogging to the very last.As its the last day and will inevitably bore on to shapeless draw I am only planning some light blogging. I'll give you the service you deserve with updates on my state of mind every couple of minutes. However, I think being the current Collective record holder for longest

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165267076341062252006-12-04T21:11:00.000Z2006-12-04T21:17:56.396Z

I wont be staying up to watch the cricket tonight (Although i'll probably wake up during the night to check the score from time-to-time.) This is partly because of an important work meeting first thing in the morning, but also because I am confident that the game is heading inexorably towards a draw. Therefore if England somehow conspire to lose (note how I have ruled out the possibility of us

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165252638740842762006-12-04T16:57:00.000Z2006-12-04T17:24:02.063Z

"Cricket is battle and service and sport and art" - Douglas Jardine"Cricket is just baseball on valium" - Robin WilliamsWhy, you ask, have you put two quotes about cricket at the top of this post? Well, I was inspired over the weekend to seek out some classic descriptions of the grand old game by Geoffrey Boycott. Down the years, there have been many moving and deliberately hilarious tributes to

Gavinaldohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12001777455492168524noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165106321634005462006-12-03T00:33:00.000Z2006-12-03T02:32:55.503Z

I'm back in town tonight. And a bit of a prelude before the cricket. I've been round a friends for a bit of a do and I want to make two comments.1) Sorry for not often making the live blogging past 1.30 but we have things to do in the morning so sometimes we just fall asleep. We are doing our best Rhian so please be forgiving - I notice your boyfriend isn't doing any live blogging.2) On the other

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165087365974831202006-12-02T19:18:00.000Z2006-12-02T19:22:46.000Z

Having watched Paul Collingwood score an amazing double century last night and then just watched Mark Ramprakash dancing around a BBC studio like a big girl's blouse I have to admit that I may have been mistaken in calling for the latter to replace the former in the Test team.In future I shall stick to making comments about cheese...

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1165019564457457972006-12-02T00:29:00.000Z2006-12-02T01:34:04.643Z

Wahey! It's a non-school night so Mum can't make me "turn off that damn radio". A whole night of warming myself on the warm fires of English success. Get in.01.32 Come on, drink your drinks, need a few boundaries before readers are forced to read BBC's ball-by-ball commentary instead.01.28 150 Partnership.01.24 Pietersen on 89. He only has 15 mins to get his hundred. No fear these aren't new

Gavinaldohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12001777455492168524noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164979101663818052006-12-01T13:11:00.000Z2006-12-01T13:18:21.680Z

Well done to our three lovely lionhearts - Ian Bell, Paul Collingwood and Kevin Pietersen. It's enough to make you proud of being English, or South African, or ginger, or really quite short indeed.Marvellous!(No need to mention that at Adelaide in 2002 we finished day one on 295 for four but were all out for 342 on day two. Or that we subsequently lost the test by an innings...)

Victoria Millsnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164933034871928212006-12-01T00:28:00.000Z2006-12-01T01:35:26.773Z

Well here we go. Its 1 December and the countdown to Christmas has begun. Let the fun begin.For the cheese afficianados out there, all I have beside me is a Maltesers advent calender and pint of water.1.34 - Need I say it? Strauss gives his wicket to the mid-on fielder. Nice. 32-1.1.31 - Monty's on. Brilliant. Our dreams have come true. Err... Sorry to disappoint - he's just bringing on the

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164931432552664402006-12-01T00:00:00.000Z2006-12-01T00:03:52.570Z

Well as Steve is too pissed to blog tonight you have me from my bed tonight, listening in on TMS as Aggers and the team rather than watching the Sky coverage.And great news England win the toss and bat. Brilliant. All of a sudden the beautiful Adelaide Oval becomes a truly beautiful.Teams on unchanged. Doesn't it remind you of 2005? England crap in the last test but unchanged and the Aussies

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164924836520527952006-11-30T21:32:00.000Z2006-11-30T22:13:56.550Z

I used to go to school with someone called Dave Bradman, so whenever I hear someone being described as 'Bradmanesque' I automatically think it's because they are particularly adept at bum slides in the showers after PE (It was a Catholic boys school so say no more.)However there is no doubt that the current batting form of Ricky Ponting and Mohammed Yousef, both of whom are averaging around 99

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164907823367350312006-11-30T17:26:00.000Z2006-11-30T17:30:23.386Z

You can get 5-1 against Steve Harmison's first delivery tonight being called a wide.....

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164897567535897442006-11-30T14:38:00.000Z2006-11-30T14:39:27.553Z

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164895690587270262006-11-30T14:04:00.000Z2006-11-30T14:08:10.590Z

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164895392997670862006-11-30T13:38:00.000Z2006-11-30T14:03:13.043Z

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164874400502820902006-11-30T08:13:00.000Z2006-11-30T08:13:20.520Z

I don't like CricketWe all know that Shane Warne is famous for his bad behaviour, but did you realise that whilst on tour in NZ a few years ago he actually gave 10 year l boy a good slapping!."And what was the sin of the unfortunate minor?" I hear you ask (my hearing is very good from 12,000 miles away)Well he took a picture of the famous leg spinner who happened to be the youngsters hero.At the

Alhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11232358354344469895noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164873319251207972006-11-30T07:55:00.000Z2006-11-30T07:55:19.260Z

I don't like Cricket Some Aussies will have you beleive that Don Bradman was some kind of cricketing saint. Now while he was quite handy with the bat, there are other things that people generally skip over The first thing is that he was a major shortarse. The bails were aboult level with his nipples Seconld he was as bad tempered as a crcodile that hasnt eaten any humans for a week and then

Alhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11232358354344469895noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164872664207788092006-11-30T07:44:00.000Z2006-11-30T07:44:24.250Z

I don't like CricketSome people might think that losing by 277 runs is quite a lot, however the greatest test defeat measured in runs alone came in 1928 when ENGLAND beat AUSTRALIA by a total of 675 runs. However the biggest test defeat of any kind came 10 years later when one team beat another by an innings and 579 runs. Can anyone guess who won and who lost that one?

Alhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11232358354344469895noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164809111758564562006-11-29T13:47:00.000Z2006-11-29T14:05:11.956Z

While my fellow Collective members are focusing on serious matters, such as Glen McGrath and Michael Vaughan's fitness, I feel the need to talk about something vastly more important: Namely what cheese I will be eating on Friday night, when I settle down to watch the game.Regular readers will recall that I was criticized for eating Brie on Thursday night rather than a patriotic English cheese.

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164798871194651392006-11-29T11:08:00.000Z2006-11-29T11:27:40.100Z

Tony Greig has managed to state the bleeding obvious and repeat what The Collective pointed out weeks ago about Troy Cooley. Remember that you read it here first.Cooley himself had some particularly supportive comments for Harmy yesterday "Three years ago he was number one in the world".Pop Quiz: When was the last time a side won a test by only taking 10 wickets?Pop Quiz 2: When was the last time

Victoria Millsnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164797350527699342006-11-29T10:38:00.000Z2006-11-29T10:49:10.576Z

Quick update: McGrath has missed bowling practice today due to his sore heel.Remember three things:1) Brett Lee bowled crap in the first test2) We lost the first test humiliatingly at Lords in the last Ashes series3) Their most penetrating bowling was McGrath.Time for an end to the panic and navel-gazing. I think we've got this series in the bag.Especially for Katie, here is a very reassuring

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164696502964149582006-11-28T06:48:00.000Z2006-11-28T06:48:24.113Z

I don't like Cricket Firstly I would like to thank the dear leader for drawing my attention to the fact that I am the slackest blogger in the collective. I would also like to remind him that I am his uncle and have baby photos which can be published. In order to remedy this however I propose to bring you some of the most embarrsing facts about Aussie cricket and its players. Here is number one Do

Alhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11232358354344469895noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164576156729089872006-11-26T21:21:00.000Z2006-11-26T21:25:35.083Z

..but even he thinks there's no chance of England holding out for a draw later on. At least Pietersen and Collingwood have restored some pride and we can be a bit more optimistic going into the next game.

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164569304833339632006-11-26T19:19:00.000Z2006-11-26T19:28:24.833Z

There must be at least one drongo with a match out there.

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164568644805071742006-11-26T18:24:00.000Z2006-11-26T19:17:25.430Z

A lot of cricket fans in Blighty have felt angry, let down, and simply embarrassed by England's start to this Ashes series. But, while there has been plenty to criticise, both in terms of on the pitch performances and off the pitch preparations, some of the critical outpourings, in the press and on the blogs, have been thoughtlessly over the top, or just plain deluded.Richard William's piece in

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164413191870483292006-11-25T00:03:00.000Z2006-11-25T00:06:31.870Z

The Cheddar and Hovis biscuits are at the ready, but I am too drunk to do anything other than the most cursory attempts at posting.My thoughts about tonight? I've already written this match off and as far as I am concerned I hope some of our batsmen get some time at the crease either in this innings or after following-on.The Convicts may be on the verge of winning this particular skirmish, but

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164364957629093472006-11-24T10:35:00.000Z2006-11-24T10:42:54.670Z

I'm not sure this is a reason to be cheerful, but after last night's performance someone has just said to me: "Well at least we'll get our England back."I don't know whether that means we'll get back to the usual state of misery, middle-order collapses and low expectations (that in all honesty we should have been occupying since the India / Pakistan tour last year). Or does he mean that all the

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164327029348567472006-11-24T00:07:00.000Z2006-11-24T01:38:02.663Z

Well while Steve is having chedder inspired dreams tonight, you have me tonight... at least until I eventually doze off.Apparently the pitch has cracks that can get beefy's sausage fingers down them. Warne must be rubbing his hands with glee. And sources close to Test Match Special tell me that KP has been out turning the King of Spain in the nets today. Oh dear. Time for a bit of PMA.01.27 - And

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164325608288125862006-11-23T23:38:00.000Z2006-11-23T23:46:48.306Z

Having been stung by comments below about the unpatriotic nature of my cheese choice last night I have today bought a great big lump of Cheddar and a packet of Hovis biscuits. Unfortunately they will have to keep until tomorrow night because an important work meeting is likely to curtail my late night cricket viewing and indeed any blogging. I confidently predict that England will have a better

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164296691818051032006-11-23T15:29:00.000Z2006-11-23T15:44:51.840Z

No fear. I don't mean unplayable as in that first ball last night. I mean Steve Harmison on fire. Okay so Geoffrey says that he "seems to have lost it". And okay so every tv interview ever done with Harmy proves he is the most nervous man in cricket. But this site is dedicated to spurring England on to victory! And so I give you Steve Harmison at his most unplayable.The Collective will keep their

Victoria Millsnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164285490410479782006-11-23T12:33:00.000Z2006-11-23T12:38:10.460Z

I have just woken up and i have to say I am very disappointed. Not so much with England but with my own performance. Thanks to a combination of too much food and alcohol, I was absolutely sparko by lunch last night. And although i woke up throughout the night the game was going so depressingly that it was hardly worth staying awake for. I really am going to have to raise my game.

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164278845706834952006-11-23T10:39:00.000Z2006-11-23T10:55:54.603Z

...it was a long night. But just the first of 25.Do not get downhearted. If they can get that many on this pitch then so can we - come on that is why Fletch picked Grunt and Gilo.But if it is all too much for you and you want to rediscover your Australian relatives and apply for citizenship we will not denounce you as a traitor quite yet.The Collective even has a little tool to help you find

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164271550087298492006-11-23T08:43:00.000Z2006-11-23T08:45:50.110Z

1. We lost the First Test of the last series, too.Er... that's it.

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164240456297765052006-11-23T00:07:00.000Z2006-11-23T00:07:36.316Z

Okay. Here we bloody go then. The Aussie gibbering stops and we're actually going to get some cricket. I have nothing but total and utter blind confidence in England. I had the same blind confidence in the England football team winning the world cup. I'm an idiot.

Gavinaldohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12001777455492168524noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164237143962465382006-11-22T23:05:00.000Z2006-11-23T02:34:25.610Z

We will be posting our random thoughts here tonight/this morning as long as i manage to stay awake. If you want proper cricket commentary bugger off to Cricinfo or the BBC. If you want to read random nonsense (which will get more bizarre as i get drunker and more tired), this is the place to be.2.20 Just had a lovely little snooze can feel my bed calling. Back later if i can wake up!!!1.30 Just

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164206008414079752006-11-22T14:32:00.000Z2006-11-22T14:35:29.666Z

Hope he's on parole, bloody convict.

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164203444025917192006-11-22T13:44:00.000Z2006-11-22T13:51:41.643Z

Anyone with money to spare could catch the 21.45 from Heathrow this evening and be in Brisbane in time for the start of Day 2...Just in case you are regretting the decision that it was too expensive to go... Or it wouldn't be that exciting...Of course I'm sure The Collective's decision to rely on test match special (coverage starts 11.30pm tonight I think...) was the right one.B*gger.

Victoria Millsnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164202497648574092006-11-22T13:29:00.000Z2006-11-22T13:34:57.673Z

Okay, so you're the England coach and captain and you've got to make a choice between two spinners.Do you go for a young, exciting and attacking spinner who has already proved to be a match-winner in his short Test career? Or do you go for a journey man cricketer who hasn't played a first-class game for over a year and will, at best, just tighten an end up?It's obvious isn't it? Well not if if

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164203421621743372006-11-22T13:24:00.000Z2006-11-22T13:50:21.640Z

...That I am going to deviate from my usual Aussie baiting to actually talk about the issues.We are British so it is in our mentality to do ourselves down, be phlegmatic and lack genuine confidence and assertiveness so I think it is worth bearing in mind the following points.1) We are the holders of the Ashes. Because. We. Deserve. It.2) In the run up to the last series we had a huge debate about

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164190262961880072006-11-22T10:08:00.000Z2006-11-22T10:11:02.980Z

Or Reasons to be Cheerful – Part ISporting dread… Everyone’s familiar with it. I used to get it on various occasions at school… When contemplating being forced to do “The Chellinge”, as our swimming teacher used to call it, in a sort of Edwardian sergeant-major styley – swimming through underwater hoops in pyjamas, that kind of thing, then getting back to the changing room and finding someone

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164144329005602962006-11-21T21:19:00.000Z2006-11-21T21:43:05.726Z

It's all been a bit of a whirl since I last posted and I've definitely experienced mixed emotions in that time. Obviously I was thrilled to get the nod for the Test team, but that has been tempered by the news that Ian Bell may miss the match after I hit him in the nets. I was truly gutted because Belly is a good mate and it wasn't helped by Chris Read asking why I couldn't have injured Geraint

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164134551489485202006-11-21T18:40:00.000Z2006-11-21T18:53:16.063Z

For your viewing pleasure, and to calm any last minute nerves brought on by the latest injury scare, here is Beefy smashing Merv Hughes for 22 in an over on his way to a match-winning innings the last time we triumphed in Brisbane.The time for being negative is gone! So what if we lose Belly and his average of 47.66 to injury! What is Ed Joyce (sp?) in the squad for! It's time to get excited and

Victoria Millsnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164116107883052472006-11-21T13:13:00.000Z2006-11-21T13:38:39.593Z

The BBC has an interview in which cricket-loving and Australian-supporting actor Russell Crowe predicts that his team will comfortably retain the Ashes.Rusty warns the England team that they are in for "so much pain baby" and "facing the tiger whose tail you've been pulling."His enthusiasm for the Australian team is surprising however: He is from New Zealand.(Interestingly, in his film A

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164109985048185412006-11-21T11:52:00.000Z2006-11-21T11:53:18.293Z

Having established that Australia have nothing on one day cricket compared to a pair of 14 year olds in India, I now move on to my main theme of the weak: Australians on an individual level are also incredibly crap.Watson's out; we know that.But today 24 year old Ian Thorpe announced his retirement because of "injury and fatigue" and because he has apparently lost his motivation. That is the kind

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164099863999112392006-11-21T08:57:00.000Z2006-11-21T09:04:24.020Z

It's been confirmed this morning that Shane Watson is out of the First Test. This is a massive blow for Australia: not only is Watson one of their best players (and was 18 months ago - the Aussie selectors were mad not to pick him for the last Ashes series), but his selection allows the Aussies to pick five bowlers. Now the likelihood is they'll only be going in with four - McGrath, Lee, Warne,

M. Reynardnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1164059608850720962006-11-20T21:01:00.000Z2006-11-20T21:53:29.320Z

So this is it then. Only two days to go until the fun and games begin and I have to say I am VERY excited.Like the players I have spent the last few days in intense preparation for the series. All the dates of the matches have gone into my Outlook diary and, much to the chagrin of my boss, I have saved loads of holiday to take between now and the end of the year, starting on Thursday.I've also

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1163780051111249082006-11-17T15:58:00.000Z2006-11-17T16:14:11.133Z

Not that I'm starting to P A N I C but anyone know what the Gabba pitch is like? Without Harmison I'm a little concerned about how blunt our bowling attack may be...I have read that Shane Warne 'loves it'? I assume that's the pitch rather than local rooms equipped with women, inflatable dildos and hidden camaras? Could this be Monty's great opportunity?Our record here is not great - we lost four

Victoria Millsnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1163762030895329412006-11-17T11:08:00.000Z2006-11-17T11:13:50.910Z

The good thing about YouTube is that if you can't think of anything to post you just have to search under 'cricket' and you are pretty much guaranteed to find something vaguely amusing....

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1163755542327194642006-11-17T09:24:00.000Z2006-11-17T09:25:42.326Z

..now that Marcus Trescothick has gone home and Monty has got the nod ahead of Giles. My optimism for the series ahead is renewed...

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1163690383106629272006-11-16T15:17:00.000Z2006-11-16T15:19:43.123Z

The aussies may want to harp on about the incredible ODI match against SA earlier in the year. But they ain't got nothing on this: 721-0 in 40 overs. That's 18 an over or three a ball. Non-stop. For 40 overs.http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/6154000.stm?lsmFor reference, the opposition were bowled out for 21.Australia are an ageing team - watch out for India in the next 10 years.

weshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10279125123335771663noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1163514876098744992006-11-14T14:20:00.000Z2006-11-14T14:40:12.626Z

I'm not quite sure what Geoffrey Boycott will say about the whole Trescothick situation, but I'm sure it will be something along the lines of,'Depression? There were none of that nonsense in my day.'Anyway a friend recently told me a very good Boycott-related anecdote, which I thought i should share.My friend was inter-railing and arrived at a youth hostel in darkest post-communist downfall

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1163513979782174552006-11-14T13:51:00.000Z2006-11-14T14:19:39.810Z

So that's it then, Marcus Trescothick is on his way home strapped in a straight jacket somewhere over the Indian Ocean.I 'm not quite sure what to make of the whole thing. One moment he's telling the BBC how much he's relishing the forthcoming series, the next he's pumped full of prosac and on the next flight home.I have to admit to having some sympathy for his plight, but although I respect his

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1163370908697987722006-11-12T22:31:00.000Z2006-11-12T22:35:08.696Z

"Wants the Ashes Urn, don't we precious."

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1163370646055374662006-11-12T22:09:00.000Z2006-11-12T22:30:46.070Z

I think that England have got it right picking Jones ahead of Read, certainly I think it's a good thing if it means that it strengthens the batting line up and allows Panesar to play ahead of Giles. However I am gobsmacked by the tone of Duncan Fletcher's comments about the situation:"Looking at the pressure that he's played under before, we believe he handles the pressure better.""Technically we

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1163175056963095012006-11-10T16:04:00.000Z2006-11-10T16:14:28.616Z

Andrew Symonds: drives off the front foot.Roland Gift of Fine Young Cannibals: drives you crazy

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1163169156421437902006-11-10T14:02:00.000Z2006-11-10T14:32:36.506Z

The more I think about it the more disheartened I am after last night's debacle. The couple of hours I managed to stay awake for were a total shambles - Flintoff's bowling aside - and one look at the scorecard shows that it went downhill from there.The fielding was particularly shocking and this was made worse by having to listen to Mark Waugh's gloating and watch the Australian fans howl like

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1163151176959764032006-11-10T09:26:00.000Z2006-11-10T09:32:56.973Z

I stayed up to watch a bit of England's opening game last night. When I went to sleep we were doing okay (ish) when I woke up and checked this morning we had been humiliatingly beaten by 166 runs. I sense it's going to be a very long winter....P.S. There's a lot of speculation that England are bizarrely considering playing Ashley Giles ahead of Monty Panesar, the best English spinner in my

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1162922063702500112006-11-07T17:42:00.000Z2006-11-07T17:54:23.730Z

I have decided that now is the time to bring an end to the ever popular He-Man/Cricket lookalikes.This is partly because a) I can't think of anymore, and b) they're not funny.However, a bit like the unnecessary second series of I'm Alan Patridge, I've decided to do just one more for old times' sake. Thus I present you:'Mekaneck' (A master of the Universe)Stephen Harmison (struggles to master the

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1162855921370408612006-11-06T23:29:00.000Z2006-11-06T23:32:01.370Z

I feel really bad now for just having had a pop at the much missed Helen Daniels. To try and restore some good karma i would remind you all to think about giving money to this very worthy cause...The McGrath Foundation

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1162855536731110892006-11-06T22:33:00.000Z2006-11-06T23:25:36.846Z

Back in the days when I wasn't the only Collective member who posted on this site, some of my fellow bloggers started a series called '50 reasons why Australia wont win the Ashes.' For those of you who don't remember, this was basically an excuse to come up with 50 reasons why Australia (the people, place and culture) is rubbish, ergo Australia (the cricket team) would lose spectacularly in the

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1162851476180587762006-11-06T21:37:00.000Z2006-11-06T22:30:44.313Z

So this is it. We have finally arrived in Australia and it’s only a couple of weeks until the First Test. After the disappointment of the Champions Trophy all the boys are really excited and can’t wait to get started.It was good to get home after India, but the last week was really rushed getting prepared for what is going to be a long tour. It’s quite hard knowing what to pack when you are going

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32761879.post-1162495481027430372006-11-02T19:04:00.000Z2006-11-02T19:24:41.060Z

Watching the highlights of Australia vs New Zealand last night I could have sworn that South African umpire Rudi Koertzen is now sporting a beard which makes him look a little like an extra from the Harrison Ford movie Witness. Was I imagining it?I'd show you a picture of Rudi with beard to prove it but I can't find one. I've also tried to find a picture of an Amish man but again I can't find a

covhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05616794267920803802noreply@blogger.com0